|pondering my place on the sexuality spectrum
||[Mar. 28th, 2011|01:50 am]
A Shiny New Australia
So for a good chunk of my sexually active existence, I considered myself 100 percent hetero. Not that there was anything wrong with being gay or bi-- it just wasn't me. No all those dreams about my platonic girlfriends didn't mean anything. They were just symbolic of emotional closeness. Nothing more. Besides, I was uncomfortable enough with my own girl's body-- why would I want to touch a different one?|
And then I hit my 30s. And I got a lot more comfortable in my body and a lot more "I don't give a fuck" about sexual restrictions in general. Went to a party, got drunk, and made out with a cute chick. Yes, I know it doesn't count if you're drunk. That's what I said. But then a lightening bolt went off when I sobered up and I realized "I want to do that again. With her. All night if possible." I don't think we even got to third base (does the baseball analogy even work here?) I just knew I was gonna look at other women differently after that. For the first time, my subconscious was going to let me.
If I had to label myself now I would just paraphrase Margaret Cho: "Am I straight? Am I bi? And then I realized...I'm just slutty." I can live with that.